This past week, there was an MCC communications team- Robin & Sean- visiting AEGY (AIDS Education Group for Youth) and Kamuli. They have been spending the past three weeks traveling to various countries- Nepal, Swaziland, Zambia, and now finally Uganda- shooting a documentary for the MCC. It was nice to have company in Kamuli- it was a welcomed break from being the only “mzungu” in town. It was nice spending time with them and assisting in the making of the documentary- their goal was to show a day in the life of a child affected/infected by HIV/AIDS and to tell his/her story. We spent time with various orphans until one was identified to follow and film, but I have to admit that throughout the “interviewing” process of orphans, I found myself becoming a wee-bit depressed.
Seeing all that poverty and hearing stories of all that suffering… I don’t know, it’s hard to wrap my mind around sometimes… And at the end of the visit, without fail, there is always some kind of request- a desperate plea- for assistance- for food, for shelter, for clothing, for school fees (education)—you know, all those ‘basic needs’ essential to survival you learn about in elementary school.
I hate this part of the visit, I hate that I have to say, “no sorry, I can’t help you” – I hate that I turn my head and avoid their eyes—I hate that I know that if I only would abstain from my chewing gum addiction, I could pay school fees for one child for a year (I chew a lot of gum!)—I hate that I leave these beautiful, precious children knowing full well that I’m going home to sleep in a comfortable, warm bed and eat a plate full of food that far exceeds my daily caloric needs. Most of all, I hate how everything I hate involves me.
Me, me, me. I’m an American, through and through.
All this is hard to get used to… but maybe that’s a good thing…Maybe we’re not supposed to get used to it. I’m not sure that I’d ever want to be “okay” with looking injustice in the eye and turning away. I’m slowly learning that to engage in the world is to SEE injustice, is to SEE suffering, and is then to sustain the gaze because its then that the tiny hints of hope can break through.
“I hate that I turn my head and avoid their eyes”….
Powerful confession. I make myself vulnerable when I look into peoples eyes…..
ACTS 3:1 One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer–at three in the afternoon. 2 Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4 Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!”
Hi Friend!
I was just thinking the same thought about poverty today while on a crowded metro train. a man jumped aboard and began soliciting each and every passenger for change or if they could help him get food….ect. It was interesting to watch as people reacted to him, or more like did not react. i was humbled to watch face after face simply turn away from this man. they tried to pretend that he was not asking them. that he did not exist. that there was nothing wrong. The looked straight ahead and disappeared into a quite world where they are not bothered by these problems. but we should be bothered. they should make us weep. and we should understand the bigger systems at play keeping those without apart from those with.
powerful insight megan.
you are not alone, it is not just Americans who turn our head. it is all of the developed world.